Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
