I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm passing your future prison.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize