Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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