We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
