so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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