I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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