Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
