My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
