I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize