i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The best revenge is premature balding
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
