fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
