TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
