I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
