I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
