i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
