I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
