after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
