I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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