kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
