O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
