I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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