How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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