sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
