Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
