Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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