i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
