What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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