Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't deserve a penis
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
