I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
