I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They have beer where we have blood.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
