with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize