I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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