I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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