So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
