he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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