i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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