she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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