This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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