I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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