i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
