i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just come out here and I will go home with you...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
