Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
