it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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