i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
