he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
