she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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