He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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