i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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