Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
