Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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