Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
