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arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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