So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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