i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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