Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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