Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
