I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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