dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
