This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
