While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
