porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can text with my tongue
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
