is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
