For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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