I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
