i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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