He asked to "fluff my boner.."
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
